Clinton On Top

Now a certain someone has finally come on out and said who they think's gonna win the democratic primaries. Pundits have been waiting with baited breath for this moment. But who is our mysterious political soothsayer? Is it Al Gore? Newt Gingrich? David Letterman? Britney Spears? Woah. Hold up. Check this, you guys: it's the President. You know, the President of the United States? Medium-sized, cowboy hat, undead wife? No? Um. Anyway, he reckons Hillary Clinton's going to win everything.

Deep. It's not like she's polling in the stratosphere, spent this Sunday on all five breakfast talk shows, has raised trazillions and is attracting other people's campaign staff like she's a magnet and they're iron shavings. It's not like if aliens attacked and were vanquished by a nuclear arsenal (hello? did no-one think of this? when we're fighting an intergalactic war we'll be whistling a different tune about Iran, that's for sure) the single comprehensible piece of information they'd take away from the planet is that Hillary's pretty much gonna get the nomination. It's not like Bush predicting this is the same as him putting on his deepest voice and saying "MARK ME: TOMORROW WILL BE A WEDNESDAY." Mind you, he's not all that good at the days of the week.

WHY do the Repubs keep bandying Hillary about? Are they afraid of looking stupid when she does get the nomination? Or is there a darker reason? Might they...WANT her to get it? Might they be massaging the conservative voting base by issuing dire warnings? Think about it. We're going on holiday...Back on Monday. Love you, byeeee.



We've been puzzlin' this one for a while now.