Here's Lookin' at You, America

Ladies and Gentlemen, we give you Former Senator Fred Thomson of Tennessee. And his wife. Damn, Fred. Naughty boy. Although...Jeri looks kinda shy. We hope she's ok. She actually seems a little bit...sad. Is she looking at us? Is she trying to...Is she trying to speak to us with her eyes? No, gentlemen, her EYES.

Oh, but it gets better. Much better. The New Dark Horse of the Republican field has a secret identity: Straight-talkin' District Attorney Arthur Branch of TV's Law & Order. The Monocle is not suggesting that Fred Thompson looks like Arthur Branch. The Monocle is telling you that Fred Thompson ACTUALLY PLAYED Arthur Branch on televison. Until quite recently. Being the only Presidential Candidate with his own entry on IMDB hasn't stopped Fred from a flourishing career as occasional Senator for the Volunteer State, Washington lobbyist for hire and, our fave, legal counsel for disgraced Rove-scapegoat Scooter Libby. What a dish.

Anyhoo, here's what Fred Thompson wants to talk about:
-The ongoing threat of Islamist terrorism
-The unresolved economic threat of entitlements
-The need for lower taxes to ensure our nation remains economically competitive and innovative
-The need to secure our borders
-The need to support families and to protect our children from the harder edges of culture
-The need to remain engaged in the world while remaining true to America’s principles

Brrrrr. Goody. Sounds GREAT.

While the Reagan Comparison is unavoidable, particularly since Fred appears to have quantum-leapt all the way from 1976 anyway, it must be noted that, unlike Ronnie, Fred actually GAVE UP his seat in the United State Senate to star in a TV show. How the world has changed. The Monocle welcomes Fred to the race. We needed a little glitz, a little glamour, a little razzmatazz. We needed a man unafraid to do things like this:

Oooh! Snaps! You get it, right? Yeah? He's saying Michael Moore should be in a mental institution! In his FACE.

Maybe we should all get a little help. And, frankly, The Monocle wouldn't mind one of those BIG FAT CUBAN CIGARS the former Senator is smoking either.