Welcome back, y'all! Unfortunately the Monocle overloaded sometime around the 36th Very Last Primary, and we've just now stepped off the plane from a charming little retreat on an unamed island somewhere between cell-phone & broadband ranges, so we have no idea who the Democrats chose as their nom...what. The. F*ck? Seriously. No.
Indiana? Are they MAKING UP STATES now?
Maaargh, at this stage, all the Democrats are doing making quite sure the world knows that neither candidate can win a gosh darn election. Ok. Fine. Whatever. The Monocle is strong. The Monocle is going to ignore "Indiana", and very quickly, very quietly, call the race for Barack Obama. See! No problem. Obama. No wait! No, Obama.
The Monocle is then going to call for a radical change in the voting system, whereby one state, (and we'd like to nominate...say, New York - see that was easy), will choose both nominees in one swift primary, then another (hmm, let's say Pennsylvania) will choose the President.
If that's not possible, America must never be allowed to vote again. We, the rest of the world, will elect their President, and we will do it in time for lunch.
In the meantime, it seems that, for reasons literally nobody cares about, Obama will absolutely, definitely, certainly, without a shadow of a whisker of a doubt, be the nominee. Probably.
No comments:
Post a Comment